Close enough to 11....

So tuesday we get told we shall be haveing a sale wensday... advance copy of the flyer still dosn't have pictures just prices...
Frist day of Sale... understaffed, One boss on till me working the floor and the big boss having to help. Meanwhile no help coming from the far end, They're to busy taking compaints aboot the Fishing Licences. Dam Walmart....

No i'm not working at Walmart but becuase they are bigger and cryied more they get to hand out the old Paper Licences for fishing... Bastards (note to self get warning message...)
Just came up with a plan :-D it will get me arested, yaa plan.

Can't seem to focus well....
Might be the pot
Right, that would do it....


The other day i'm up in the tree in my front yard. tieing branches and tempory braces to it. It's a Big tree, aboot 25 meters to the top (75 feet?). Healthy and still growing. Neibour comes out picks up a stick i had tossed down, Asks me 'when you taking it down?' Pointing with the stick.
I'm a little dumb founded by this. the tree's Heathy. 'We're not'
'O so your having profesanal do it?'
I Really wish my fence went around the yard... I tell Him we're not taking it down.
the Bugger spends 5 min explaining why it would be best.
I'm almost 7 meters high smoking, doing my best to land ash on his head. After he's done i Kindly explain i would like him off my proporty. When he seemed slugish i whisled For Ollie. My Dog.

Ollie isn't big but he was bread for hunting (soposaly)

now the fence is between ollie and the base off the tree,Ollie is no where near the guy. Ollie is looking for me and barking into the tree. I've done this befor to door to door salesmen, They tend to run off befor they realize Ollie can't get them...

About the time i Climbed down. Neibour Bugger called a cop and said i let a dog loose on him.
Cop comes over, asks me what happened. I explain. Whisle Ollie over. and show The offcier why the idea of Ollie leaveing teeth marks is rediculous. Ollie's lower Jaw is about a thrid to a half the size as most dogs his Breed. meaning I let him use my hand as a chew toy, no worries.
Officer puts down his pen and flips back in his note book. and reads me the discribtion for my dog gotten from the neigbour.
Bloody Neigbour couldn't spot Ollie as a Poodle. And Discribed a Bob cat >.<

Unforantly a have many stoires of upseting neigbours, less then you think invole cops :-D
The ones with Cop's are just funnyier.