Writen at 4 am, Posted at 4 pm...

I'm haveing trouble finding music to lisen to. After hear a song enough i think what it means to me.

Walked around my good intentions
And found out there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years We hardly talked
Never thought I would forget this hate
And a phone call made me realize I'm wrong


Little be side it's 4 am and i can't sleep. I've grown to hate my family for the most part. but i wonder weather it's me or them. Am i to blame for the gap that is growing. I like to blame them. But i know better i know it's me.

Walked around my room not thinking
Sinking in this box
Blame myself for being too much like Somebody else
I never thought I would just bend this way
Then a phone call made me realize I'm wrong

When i'm in a crowd i blend in, I tend to lie and make myself sound as simular to those around me. After awhile being those people i can shunt it of and adopt a different persona, Calling up the old one if i run into those people again with just the name I use at the time. I don't think i really have any personalltiy myself except as a smart ass.

And if I don't make it known that
I loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignored because
We're both dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out

So i took off teh song 4 am by Our Lady Peace off my Mp3 player. To many thing are being remebered when i hear it. I wish i could forget. There was a time i used to Teir my memory to songs, certain kinds of songs i would use for different memories. Now i listen to the radio worried I'll start to break down.


I need sleep >.<